


Vulnerable

by Madzie



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Like I'm sorry, M/M, The ending isn't terrible though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 07:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7352248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madzie/pseuds/Madzie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Once you told me that I unlocked something inside of you..."</p><p> </p><p>--OR--</p><p>Tumblr Rquest » "Just Once" It occurs a few weeks after S1 finale :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vulnerable

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for the angst :S  
> BTW the line "Heartbreaker with his heart on his sleeve," comes from The Bane Chronicles, I;m pretty sure in "What to get a Shadowhunter who has everything" LOL Sorry, but I just fell completely in love with that description of Alec when I first read it<3<3

The luster of the full moon embedded into the opaque winter night, filters through the grand window of Magnus’s loft, painting it’s luminescence across carefully crafted furniture, and artifacts he has curated throughout the centuries. Though Magnus must admit that the most astonishing, and fragile appearing thing in his home at the moment, is not an object at all, but rather, a child of the angels…His Alexander.

With the moonlight caressing his cutting features so tenderly, so that he appears as if composed of nothing but dark shadows, and alabaster skin, Magnus swears that he must be the most striking being he has ever laid eyes on. A beauty which rivals the face whom had sparked the trogon war…An adonis in actuality.

Though, negating his porcelain complexion, once Alexander’s strong pools of hazel, catch onto Magnus’s feline slits, a harsh chillness prickles the warlock’s body.

“Please, I just want to understand.” he pleads with a voice teetering on the edge of breaking. Never before had Alexander’s voice sounded so utterly defeated…And Magnus feels a sickening twist of despair once accepting that it was he whom had made it sound so drawn.

“Alexander, can you just let it go,” the Warlock asks wearily as he moves to pour himself a drink, subsequent to such a exhaustive evening.

Post Jace’s return to “The good side,” as Sherman had so quaintly proclaimed it, (though Magnus has his disgruntles when blanketing that title upon the entirety of the Clave,) Jace had informed them of the crafty tactics the vicious Valentine intends to utilize when recruiting his legion of corrupted warriors. One of which was using the local crazies of nearby demonic cults as test subjects to his latest methods of transforming his personal, cold blooded calvary of endarkened soldiers to ravage Alicante, a city Valentine had once called his home.

It did not take a genius to determine that “Team Good,” simply had to be craftier still so to extinguish any opportunity Valentine had to penetrate the warp minded mortals, in their pitiful rituals of calling upon some sort of lesser demon. but to Magnus’s great dismay, one of the weapons “Team Good,” had on their disposal was connecting with the various Downworld pockets which specked the city…Sadly including one Camille Belcourt, whom is yet respected amongst the vampire clans.

It was only logical for he to approach the coldly beautiful vampire. with their extensive history, Magnus would bet good money that no other could so skillfully unravel her carefully planted words. he swears that if she had not been transformed so long ago, the Fay Folk would have embraced her within their hierarchy, as they do occasionally with mortals whom peek their intrigue.

Hell they would have made her the queen of their whole damned realm.

It did not surprise Magnus when his boyfriend had insisted upon his tagging along for tonight, “For back up.” Both he and Alexander knew that Magnus needed no assistance when it comes to tempering down Camille, but he supposes that Alec is yet concerned after catching her pressing her lips against Magnus only a few weeks prior.

Though it did infuriate Magnus when Camille, in all her excruciating glory, had cast aside the importance of the issue at hand. Rather, she found herself much more amused with regaling Magnus’s current beloved of all the assignations she and Magnus had shared when in the mist of their short lived romance. And occasionally tossing around a detail of Magnus’s past, in mock impassivity, well aware to his reluctance to speak any of his dark past out loud.

About an hour into the night, with Magnus attempting to simmer down the unkempt ire which sparked in his chocolate irises, he had accepted the fact that the vampire would do nothing but toy with his relationship with a man whom he actually loves, and whom loves him back. So with a curse spat her way, he grabbed Alec’s hand, and stormed out of the lavish penthouse suite.

A briskness had toned the taut air which separated Magnus and Alec within the loft, neither really knowing how to start a conversation following such an abysmal night.

Eventually, the silence had been shattered with a question that appeared to be forcing it’s way out of Alec’s lips, quite painfully. “Wh-What did she mean when she said that you’ll inherit your crown soon enough?”

It’s as if the air seeped right from Magnus’s lips once he had spoken…The inquiry taunting him…”As if one of the Angel’s chosen would ever settle for a being such as yourself…Nothing more than the monster your mother had heaped over, and your so called father attempted to murder.” 

With a savage shake of the head, Magnus tosses aside the curses and scars which had pillaged his upbringing, and existence as a whole…He knows precisely who he is. And it is not some monster that deserves to be regarded with as much distain as one would present to a feral beast.

So with an inhale, Magnus responds with as much composure as he could muster. “Alexander, don’t pay her, or her words any mind.”

“Magnus…Please”

“Alexander, just once, for tonight, can you please leave well enough alone.” Magnus knows the crispness which codes his words may be a tad to severe, considering that the blame rests entirely on Camille’s twisted little games, and Magnus’s reluctance to open himself to anyone, especially those like Alexander whom obtain the power to destroy him with nothing more than the flick of a finger…After all, the shadowhunter merely longs for answers, that Magnus doubts he will ever be able to give.

“Stop-Magnus just Stop! Stop pouring yourself some stupid drink, and trying to skirt around this conversation.” Alec demands with as much force as Magnus had ever heard him harness—well excluding the “Enough,” he had declared to his mother upon the farce that was his wedding. “And please just talk to me!”

 

“Of what precisely,”

“Magnus, do you know how embarrassing it was for me when she kept bringing up things about you, and the fact that I didn’t know any of them!” Alec exclaims, and Magnus takes into account how exhausted he looks over the situation as a whole.

“I apologize for the puncturing of humility shot into your hubris,” Magnus scoffs, now standing face to face with his boyfriend. His arms cross against his chest, as if a pitiful attempt of shielding himself from the argument that is surely to ensue.

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it!” Alec accuses, his etherial features twisted menacingly into a scowl. “I just want to actually know you. I just-I just want—“

“What?” Magnus nearly barks. “Do you want to pretend as if you were part of those memories? Like you were part of my past for as long as she was? Well news flash Alexander, you weren’t!”  
Alec flinches back, and Magnus realizes how his words may have lashed against him with an unintended fury,

Once Alec diverts his gaze, it is as if a shard of ice has pierced itself directly into his chest, causing a chillness to course through his body. And Magnus craves nothing more but to entangle himself back within Alec’s lanky embrace. He wants to erase tonight from both of their memories, and return to the euphoria which had strung together the first tentative weeks of their relationship.

“Alexander, I’m sorry. I didn’t—“ Alec harshly shrugs off the hand Magnus had perched atop his broad shoulder, causing it to fall hopelessly to his side.

“I think I should go,” he murmurs with a voice void of any emotion. And it is as if he had suddenly culminated back into the boy with an innate insecurity found in the hunching of his shoulders, and the ridiculous thought that he was not worth even a second glance constantly reverberating within the confines of his mind.

The words Magnus yearns to speak, echoes in the chasms of expectations which parts them…Words of the love he holds for him and no one else. Words of how he much prefers the idea of them creating memories of their own, rather than losing themselves within Magnus’s past. Words that would reassure Alec that neither camille, nor anyone else could ever threaten the way he feels for him… and it frustrates Magnus to no end.

He had always been able to construct his words so craftily that he could convince someone in his sincerity, with nothing more than a jest, and undercurrent of mystique…But standing here now, staring directly into Alexander’s warming hues, so open with his emotions—a heart breaker with his heart on his sleeve—And it’s as if Chairmen Meow had snatched his tongue without his even knowing it, and no matter how forcefully the words press against Magnus’s lips, they never can tumble out completely.

 

“Please don’t,” is all he can make out, with one lasting squeezing of Alec’s hand.

“Once, you told me that I unlocked something i you,” Alec reminds him, a sort of desperateness glinting in his eyes. “And I thought maybe you could actually feel the same way I felt about you…Like someone as magical as you could really fall in love with someone like me…But I guess I was wrong.”

“No, stop that,” Magnus admonishes, stepping so close that he can feel Alec’s breath tickling his lips. “I am with you, aren’t I? And we have an entire future of our own.”

“Yeah, but for how long?” He cranes one of his strong brows. “I’ll never make as much of an impact on you as Camille…I’ll never know you as greatly as she does.”

A sudden surge of fright seizes Magnus…This speech sounds far to similar to a break up for his liking…Twisted into the distress pulsing in his gut, Magnus idly wonders when this warrior of the heavens had become so essential for Magnus’s life on earth.

With a rough swallow of all the emotions swirling in his mind, Magnus dares to ask him a question that has the ability to knock him from the tentative joy he has found himself reveling within.

“What does that mean for us.”

“I think I need to get some fresh air,” Alec answers as if the entirety of their new found joy did not hang in the balance.

“Should I keep on the lights for your return?”

“No, I’m use to wandering in the dark,” Alec looks as if he wants to add something to his statement as he slinks on his jumper…But ultimately decides against it.

And while watching his boyfriend’s retreating silhouette, all Magnus desires is to press him close once again, and pretend as if everything is not dissolving around them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you sooooo much for reading<3<3  
> Please let me know what you thought XD  
> And any requests is welcomed LOL :)


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